The deft use of words make me smiley good

Patriotism, n. A willingness to sacrifice everything for one’s country and what it stands for, including one’s country and what it stands for.

Freedom, n. Ammunition for use in the Global War on Terror, which is being fought over it, cannot be fought without it, and will therefore come to an end at the precise moment that it is entirely exhausted.

Rapture, n. The process by which the most fervent proponents of Christianity are to be abruptly transported to another place. While some expect the RAPTURE will take place before the imposition of Hell on Earth, the better authorities have the two occurring simultaneously, an arrangement that would forestall unseemly rejoicing among the damned.

Islamofascism, n. An amalgam of religion and meaningless expletive, bound together with the “o” from “veg-o-matic”. Originally coined by Communists in their struggle to explain the indifference of Muslims to the self-evident charms of Communism, this word tends to evoke hysteria in the listener, whether as an insult to Islam, as an insult to the English language, or as a humiliating reminder of things that are foreign and hard to pronounce.


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